You owe no apologies for turning anyone down

Frank Edem Adofoli

No man or woman is a candle that needs to burn to give the other light in the name of relationships, marriage or love. If you are single going into a relationship leading to marriage, you should not forget that.

You are not killing yourself to give life to another person. You are not sacrificing what makes you happy just to make someone else happy. If your relationship is not bringing the best out of you but rather giving you stress then you are better off without it.

This is why all singles need to be responsible, ready and know what they are looking for. You owe no one apologies for turning them down. Stop feeling bad for people you don’t want to be with, and yet don’t want to see them get hurt for turning them down.

It is always better to be true to yourself, your feelings and conviction. You are not going into a relationship to please someone. Your relationship with others should make you a better person.

If he or she is trying to control you in the name of a relationship or love, that’s a red flag. If any man or woman doesn’t want you to talk to others apart from him or her, gets upset or angry each time they call and your line is busy or on call waiting, doesn’t want you to hang out with your friends, wanting to be your everything and the only one to hang out with; and when they are not going out, they want you to be in their prison, such a person is not a right partner to settle down with.

They doubt you; you have to make video calls to confirm your location and who you are with. They want to talk to the people around you just to win their trust. Such a person is insecure and not the right person to be with.

People stay in such relationships against their wish or happiness, with the excuse that everyone knows they are dating the person, including their families, friends, social group etc. Yes, you are dating doesn’t mean you are married. A sick sheep is not a dead sheep.

It doesn’t matter if they have introduced you to the world, used your pictures for their Display pictures, status, etc. If the relationship is not working, be honest and let it go. A man who refuses to guide his barber ends up with a bad haircut. Singles should let their head lead them into marriage. A relationship that makes your head useless will make your life useless.

These days lots of people are actors and actresses in relationships. Pretending and faking to be someone else just to keep the relationship. But the question is, why do these relationships end up in divorce in the long run? It’s because everyone is looking for what is genuine, what is original, even when it comes to products, how much more a relationship?

So, there is no need to be a fake just to keep a relationship. Rather be yourself. Say No to what you don’t like, people may hate you, not like you, insult you, say bad things to you but the most important thing is, you stay true to who you are; YOURSELF.

In conclusion, “Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves” – Ephesians 4:25 (TLB).

Please share it with your friends. Someone out there needs this.

For counseling, feedback, to invite me to speak at your church, school, organization, school or order my new book “DATE WRONG, MARRY WRONG”, call or WhatsApp +233206774279.

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Thank you for reading.

By Frank Edem Adofoli


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